I'll be adding stuff here as I have time or inspiration, some recent, some archival. This page is mostly for the benefit of web searches. I think it's neat to know where things originated.
First worlders: overfed and undernourished. See Walford.
I am the fish who discovered water. (heard the saying, "Fish discover water last."? Apparently this is a reformulation of a quip by Marshall McLuhan or perhaps John Culkin: "I don't know who discovered water, but it wasn't a fish." If you know the definitive author of this, please email me.)
Things that go bump in the net.
When you get an email that's been forwarded countless times from wherever, you can call it a "floataround email" or just a "floataround".
I try to correct myself because I always wildly exaggerate well, I sometimes exaggerate a bit.
"I'm having a Truman moment." - I feel like this situation has been set up for the benefit of the viewers out there in Televisionland.
It's "post-consumer garlic odor" that's the problem, not raw or cooked.
I'm still waiting for the third shoe to drop.
Hobgoblins are about the same consistency as little minds.
The "No Backwards Not Symbols" symbol.
My contributions to the Viola Joke Canon:
What is the definition of a cluster chord?
A viola section playing on the open C string.
Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
All those positions!
A guy in traction in his bed in the hospital, casts on both arms, asks his doctor:
Doc, when I get these casts off, will I be able to play the viola?
Doctor answers, "Oh, a wise guy, eh?"
(Variation on an old joke: will I be able to play the violin? I suppose so. Great! I never could before!)
The art and design of the last few years of the millennium is neo post-eclectic revivalism.